Controlling the 'verse
by spinspin
Summary: Chapter eight up! This story takes place before the BDM but after Inara leaves for the training house. This chapter, Simon gets the bullet out of Mal but things aren't lookin' too good. Read and review please! : MalInara
1. Chapter 1

_If two years ago someone would have told me I would have ended up at a Companion Training House on the rim, I would have had to rely on all my training not to laugh right in their faces. But a lot of things can happen in two years and a lot of things certainly did, I left the civilized central planets, home of safety and security, for the emptiness of the black. The reasons for my leaving are many and I will not take the time to write them all down in this book, but suffice it to say that I had to get out. I needed to be away from the Alliance and all that it stood for. I found my refuge in a rather strange spot, in the form of Malcolm Reynolds and his ship_ Serenity

I knew from the first moment that I saw Serenity that she would be perfect for my needs, an old model transport I was surprised to still see flying. Well cared for, lived in, and a form If two years ago someone would have told me that I was going to end up at the first of freedom that I had not dreamed of having, with the added bonus of having a browncoat captain; Browncoats, the independence fighters of the war seven years past. The people I had been taught to despise, but for the moment the people who I needed the most.

_My first impression of Malcolm Reynolds was that he was an arrogant fool; abet a useful fool. He had an air of command about him, and one thing that I was not going to let him do was try to command me, or call me a whore. My viewpoint soon changed though which is where my story gets much more interesting. His air of command served him and his crew well; he was a Captain first person second. He was protective and impulsive, but it fit the job. I knew that above all I could trust him, even if he was a petty thief. But I also knew something else, I was failing at my job, and it was his fault, all his fault, because I was falling in love with him. _

_Companions don't fall in love; love makes us lose control and control is what makes a companion. I remember all the times that I lost control, lost what I was. Is it but a coincidence that they all have to do with the prospect of death? No, not when we're dealing with Mal._

_So here I am writing in this crazy book, having left the only home that I truly had, the man I will always love, a little sister who I'm sure misses me almost as much as I miss her, and friends that I had never before permitted myself to have. The sad and pathetic tale of a woman who is not only afraid but also not able to commit, causer of complications. _

_That isn't to say that I don't enjoy my life here because I do. My every wish is fulfilled; I live in a land of beauty teaching the beautiful. But then there are times like tonight when I think back and wonder why I am teaching these girls to be a part of something that holds me prisoner. There are times that I look out at the blackness of space and wish that I was there, there where I good be free. But not tonight, tonight I have classes to teach, which is where I must go now or else I will be late, not a good Companion trait to teach. "Honour all appointments", something that I do not miss about Serenity and her crews' dealings is that I never have to fear taking off early from a client. I live in a world of rules and sometimes I think that they should all be thrown out my pretty picture window. _

"Tonight we will be discussing control." I say standing at the front of what you could call a classroom, a _very _fine classroom, where seventeen-year-old girls sit perfectly straight dressed in silks and satins. "Who can tell me the importance of control?"

A delicate hand raises from the back of the class. _Maria_ oh why do I have to deal with her sarcasm tonight? "Yes, Maria."

"Control is what makes a Companion, it is the most important lesson that we can ever learn." _What? _I practically screamed in my head, this girl was actually right, I had to struggle to keep my surprise off my face as she continued.

"A Companion must always be in control, must never allow a situation, any situation that she is a part of get out of control. Without control we risk loosing who we are, and especially here away from the central planets, losing everything, including our lives. Though control also presents problems, we cannot show our emotions outwardly, they build up and fester until we must release them, or then too we will lose whom we are."

"Very good Maria." I replied with a smile and it was a rare true smile. "What should a Companion do if she finds herself in a situation that she cannot control? Yes Emma."

"Run away." Her quiet answer came from the front of the class.

"Yes that is a very good answer, the only good answer." It was nice to see that these girls were agreeing with me even thought they did not know the circumstances to which they were agreeing.

"Pardon miss?" Ah here comes Maria's sarcasm, I might as well indulge seeing as she has been good this evening.

"Yes?" I said sounding way more pleased then I was presently inclined to feeling.

"I think that different situations call for different solutions. There are times when it may be best to try and regain control, by showing emotions for example, or being passionate. I do not think that running away is the best action in every situation."

I nodded my head trying to agree, but hoping that I would never have to. Running away had to be the best thing didn't it? "Thank you for your opinions Maria and Emma. Now let us use the last minutes of the lesson in quiet mediation, where we learn to control our emotions."

Not that it really worked though anything was worth a try. Kneeling before the statue of Buddha I lit a stick of incense before joining my students in mediation. I allowed my mind to drift, drift up like the smoke from the smoldering incense but nothing could clear away the visions of that ship called _Serenity_, and her ragtag crew.


	2. Chapter 2

Controlling the 'verse ch 2

Author's note: the parts in italics are thoughts, and I beg as nicely as possible for reviews, cause reviews make writing better!

_Nope the ceiling hasn't changed in the past hour and doesn't seem to keen on changin' anytime soon. Ai ya this was all her gorram fault. Now that she left she's all I can think about. _

With a sigh that he was unable to suppress the man called Malcolm Reynolds climbed out of his bed and started looking for a somewhat cleaner shirt then the one that he had just taken off. Not all that hard a task, considering that the last one was stained with mud dirt and a little bit of blood from the job that they had just completed. This really was the last time that he was going to deal with Patience, the foul woman just seemed to like shooting him _way_ to much. Her aim on the other had was actually getting worse, with him suffering from a slight graze by his ribs that was no more then a scratch

Trying to make as little noise as possible Mal walked up to the cockpit. Whitefall was hours behind them and there was nothing to look at but the black. This was where he was at home, not back on Shadow but here in the blackness of space. This was where he had control, control over the ship, where they were headed and most importantly control over himself.

_Thinkin' too much, when did this endless thinkin' start anyway? Well that was easy enough to answer; right after Inara left. The gorram woman might have spun me around in circles but then why does not having her here seem even worse?_

With another sigh he pulled himself out of the pilot's seat and over to the gray side compartments that held various things, one such thing being a full bottle of whisky. Hidden in the storage locker to keep Jayne from getting his grimy mitts on it. Not even bothering to get out the glass next to the bottle Mal tipped two large gulps down his throat. His eyes drifted shut, relishing in the feel of the amber liquid as it burned a fiery trail down into the pit of his stomach. Pain like this was what he needed, pain let a body know that they were alive. Not that being alive seemed to be all that of a good thing.

Two more gulps and his head began to spin making sitting down in the chair a necessity. The burning feeling was not so fierce this time, but it still had an effect. Most men would be crazy to drink that much whisky in the span of two minutes, but Mal wasn't most men. He was a man in desperate need of sleep, if he wanted to admit it or not, and drunken passed out sleep was the best sleep in the 'verse. This thought in mind, he took another large swig, before sliding farther down into his seat.

Zoë loved this time of the morning, waking up in her husband's arms, following him into the cockpit so that he could check the systems, before heading down for breakfast with the rest of the crew. But this morning when she pulled open the doors to the cockpit, she was greeted not by the comfort of the black, but the sleeping form of her captain. She stopped in the doorway unsure if she should just turn around, and head back out.

"What is it baby?" Wash's sleepy reply was luckily muffled.

"Look." She whispered pointing at Mal.

"Well, would you look at that, is he finally getting some rest? The shock just might kill me. Best hightail it outta here before his grumpiness returns." Wash's voice was his usual combination of mocking and seriousness.

"I'll just check that the autopilot is still on-line. Go make me some coffee husband."

Zoë continued moving softly into the cockpit, her footfalls were a silent praise to her soldier training. After listening to Mal's breathing and determining that he was indeed still asleep, she reached over his still form to complete her check of the flight systems. It was this action that showed her the bottle of whisky that he held clenched tight in his right hand. More then half gone by the looks of things, guess that explains why he didn't wake up when Wash and I were talking.

In the two months since Inara had left the ship this had to be the most peaceful that she had seen him. As much as Zoë hated to admit it the man sleeping before her was in need of the Companion. With a small sigh she pried the bottle out of his hand and put the stopper back in place, before returning it to the hiding spot that everyone on the boat knew of except of Jayne. Her eyes lit on the army blanket neatly folded on the shelf; removing it gently she placed the worn piece of cloth over him.

Then she followed her husband's advice and made a hasty retreat. Mal may have been the picture of innocence right now, but he would be back to brooding soon, and with one hell of a headache.

The first thing that Mal became aware of was the fact that there was a massive throbbing behind his ears that seemed to be accompanied by a beeping noise. Ai ya, I'm never drinking that much whisky again. Opening his eyes Mal was startled to see that he was covered in a coarse, but warm army blanket. Who saw me sleeping here? Then he glanced at the time and noticed that it was now well past lunch. Musta been Wash, or Zoë commin' in to check on things. Not the best thing that mighta happened but it coulda been much worse.

Sitting up a little straighter, and hastily folding the blanket he noticed that the beeping was coming from the console singling a wave. At the push of a button a man who's scruffy face he didn't think that he would ever forget appeared.

"Malcolm Reynolds. Not disterbin' your beauty sleep am I?"

"Not at all, Will MaCoombs." Taking a deep swallow to rid the scratchiness from his voice, and displaying a wide smile, Mal continued. "What's the meanin' of this wave? You're not in trouble again are you?"

"No, at least not yet." The other man said with a chuckle. "I just wanted to give you the heads up, it's starting, going to breakout probably before the end of the month."

"What? What's starting?" Mal was trying his best to not sound as surprised as he felt.

"Oh nothing major just a little thing called rebellion. Thought you might want to know seeing as you played quiet a part in the last one."

"So did you if I member correctly." Mal was trying to buy time and Will knew it, but decided against calling him out.

Mal's headache was now being joined by an ache that went through his entire body. Independents were planning to rise again after what happened last time they had to be insane. He had no love for the Alliance, nor the trouble that they brought to his line of work, but was another war really what was needed?

"What brought this on? I haven't heard a thing about trouble startin'?" Mal asked after a moments thought.

"Taxes, the Alliance has been piling them on, then there is the part about them building an army, and pushing the Companion Guild to expand out our way. Mostly though it is the taxes." Will's smile was fading away now that he was thinking about all the ways that the Alliance controlled everyone. "We could use you Mal, and Zoë too if she's still with ya."

War, the one thing that he had hoped never to see again, but with his current mind set Mal had to admit that killing a bunch of purple bellies did have it's allure. But things were different this time, he had a crew that he couldn't risk putting in any more danger than what they considered normal. Wuo de ma, why is he springin' this on me when I have a hangover? And what was that about the Guild expanding? Was Inara in danger? Stop thinking thoughts like that she is no longer your responsibility; what happens to her happens.

Lowering his head away from the camera, he replied. "I won't leave my crew to go to war, Serenity is their home, I can't take that away from them." Mal hated making his boat sound like a prison. His head snapped back up suddenly at the sound of Will's laughter.

"Mal Reynolds, a sentimental softie? I never thought that I would see the day. But I wouldn't dare take you off your beloved bucket of bolts. Nah Mal, the Browncoats have other plans for ya, if you're willin' that is."

"Speak your piece, that is of course if I am correct in assumin' that this wave is secure, seeing as you have already told me many a thing."

"Well you best settle back in that chair of yours Mal, cause there's a lot to tell."


	3. Chapter 3

Captain Malcolm Reynolds looked in at his crew laughing and talking over the supper table. Everyone looked so happy, why did he have to bring this go se on them now? His lurking didn't go unnoticed for long. Kaylee bounded over with a large teasing grin plastered on her face.

"Finally decided to join us capt'n? Wash was soon going to start takin' bets to see how long you would be out of it." Her grin soon turned to a pout. "Zoë said it wouldn't be right though."

"And right she was, go have a seat lil' Kaylee, so we can get this show on the road I'm half starved."

Mal caught sight of the different looks from around the table, Zoë's and Book's were questioning, Jayne was lookin' intently at his food, the doctor was watching his sister River as she seemed to be staring off into nothingness, Wash was laughing at something that Kaylee mumbled as she sat down. They were happy, there was no doubt of that and they would stay happy a little while longer if Mal had anything to do with it.

"Looks like we've got us some mighty fine blue goo this evenin' so dig in." Mal said as he took his place at the head of the table, choosing to ignore the heads bowed in silent prayer along with Book.

He half hoped that he could let himself forget about the conversation he had just had with Will MacCooms, but Zoë was still watching him like she knew something was up. Mal sent her a glance that he hoped conveyed very clearly _later_.

Mal was strangely quiet as he spooned the goo into his mouth, and the rest of the crew seemed to catch on that this meal was but the precursor for something, and something big. As River and Kaylee started to clear the plates away Mal knew that it was now or never.

"I got a wave from Will MacCoombs while I was nappin' on the bridge." He said nonchalantly. Watching as Zoë tried to hide her shock.

"He have anything particular to say, sir? We haven't heard from him in a while, a long while."

"Yeah Zoë, he did. Real interestin' words." Mal let that sit there a while before Wash spoke up.

"Anyone care to enlighten those of us who weren't chummy in a war what's going on here?" Kaylee and River had finished their table cleaning and quickly returned to their seats.

"Will MacCoombs fought for the Independents during the war, his platoon was stationed with us for a while before he got his leg shot up and was sent home on leave." Zoë supplied the information giving Mal time to consider how he was going to answer her next question. "What he say, sir?"

"War's starting up again, people fed up over new taxes, among other things." There was no need to be mentionin' anything about the Guild, no need to get Kaylee anymore worked up then she already appeared to be. "He asked us for help."

"And what did you say?" Kaylee asked in a quiet voice.

"He said no, right?" Jayne spoke up soundin' all manner of angry and repulsive.

"I said that I wouldn't leave my crew to go join up to fight in a war." Mal replied trying to get Jayne to calm down, this was hard enough to do without having to get in a big fight over it.

"I'm going to do something, sir. I won't just sit here and do nothing." Zoë said standing up and adding more fuel to a fire that was going to get out of control real fast if he wasn't careful.

"Don't be jumpin' to conclusions honey." Wash said trying to get Zoë to sit back down by pulling on her arm, reluctantly she allowed him to pull her down.

"Bi zuie!" Mal said standing up himself. "If y'all would just be quiet for a moment I will tell you everything, dong ma?" At his words the crew were all looking at him expectantly.

"I said I wouldn't leave my crew, which is all fine and good for what he wants of me, and of Zoë." Wash didn't look too pleased at the mention of needing Zoë for anything.

"Will is part of the new command structure, he's even in charge of something." Mal scoffed. "You'll never guess what?" Mal shot a glance at a silently fuming Zoë, as he sat back down.

"Intelligence." Book's voice shocked everyone; some like Jayne had even forgotten that he was still at the table. "You would make a perfect spy, floating around the 'verse doing your business. Flying under the radar of the Alliance speaking to the leaders of the underworld on every planet, an amazing network of contacts. Yes you would make the perfect spy."

There was a long pause, as everyone looked first to Book then back to the captain. "One of these days I'm going to find out how it is you know so much preacher. He's right; Will wants us to act as his spies, all of us. Which is why I'm askin' if you want to do this." _Not that I want any of you doing this, but each and everyone one of you won't let me make you leave this boat._

"I'm in sir." Zoë didn't even take a second to consider what she was saying, nor did she look at her husband who was clearly thinking what he was going to say.

"You'll need someone to pilot this boat if you plan on flyin' her into anymore trouble then normal. And not just any pilot, you need the best, so I guess you'll be needin' me." Wash said, looking at his wife with a smile that she wholeheartedly returned.

"And a mechanic." Kaylee said quietly, not knowing how she felt about joining a war effort even if is was for a cause she believed in.

"As much as I might want to leave, I've no other place to go, so you got yourself a doctor." Simon said sending his sister a searching look, but she seemed to be once again staring off into space.

"I'm hoping that you won't be needing a preacher but I do know some things that could be useful." Book added from the other end of the table.

Mal leaned back in his chair with a sigh, ai ya, today really had been a day for sighs. He never thought that they would actually go through with this. "That leaves you Jayne, are you in, or not?"

"Is there payin' involved?" Jayne asked from underneath the glares of everyone but River. "What? It's a good question."

"Yes Jayne there's payin' involved." Mal decided against adding that it was much lower then what they were used to after a job, but seeing as how to go along with this whole plan, work needed to continue meanin' the Browncoat's pay was going to be a bonus. Besides war always brought on an increase in commerce, legal and otherwise.

"We've changed course to head to the Eavestown Docks so that we can get some Independently funded repairs and refits, along with spare parts and provisions. We gotta do this now before the Alliance suspects anything." That' hopin' that they don't suspect anything now, Mal added to himself silently. "So you that's new to this business let's go get in some trainin'."

"We're not the only ones who are getting training." River said softly watching the crew file out of the kitchen, before heading to do the dishes.


	4. Chapter 4

_Training House_

Inara walked slowly and quietly down the hall towards her room. Today had seemed to be a day that was never going to end, and such tiredness was beginning to show on her face. For this very reason she was less then pleased to she Shadya her friend and housemistress standing outside her door.

"I apologize but I am not in the mood for entertaining tonight, Shadya, maybe you could come back in the morning." Even said with a Companion's graceful tone, Inara knew that such rudeness would have been enough for her to be kicked out of the Guild back on Shinon. Thankfully Shadya was a compassionate housemistress.

"It is I who must apologize, Inara. I know that your day has been hard, but you have very important guests who must be seen immediately. They are waiting inside for you." With a bow, and an apologetic smile Shadya turned quickly leaving Inara standing outside her door, wondering who would want to see her.

She had not taken on clients in the two months that she had been off Serenity, so who could it be. Kaylee or Mal come to surprise her perhaps? Before the thought even entered her head Inara knew that such a way of thinking would only get her into trouble, Mal was happy to be rid of her, and Serenity would have been long gone by now, meaning that there would be no Kaylee. After taking a few moments to school her features to project a calmness that she didn't feel, Inara opened her door.

Two men stood in the centre of her room facing the door. They were both dressed in black business suits and wore strange blue gloves on their hands. Who were these people Inara wondered once again as she joined them in the middle of the room.

"I am Inara Serra. How may I be of service gentleman?" Inara said extending her hand for them to kiss, or shake. After a moment when neither man moved to take her hand Inara let her arm drop back to her side.

"May I offer you some tea?" She tried a different tactic moving towards the teapot located on a shelf on the other side of the room.

There was no denying the fact that being farther away from the men was a comfort, seeing as they still hadn't said anything to her. Inara busied herself with the tea preparation, as the men shared a silent look. The tallest gave a quick nod.

"Tea will not be necessary, Miss Serra. Would you please join us on the couch? There is something else that require of you." The tall man said before heading to the couch himself.

_Great they want sex_ Inara thought taking a seat across from the men, in an overstuffed armchair. "And what, may I ask do you require of me?" She asked taking a sip of her own tea, hoping to find comfort in the drink.

"We will get to that in good time Miss." The smaller of the two men said with a smile. "First we would like to ask you a few questions." He continued reaching for the brief case by his feet.

"What is the standing of your relationship with Malcolm Reynolds?" Mr. Tall asked.

"I had a business relationship with Captain Reynolds, that has been recently terminated. I ask again, what can I do for you gentleman, and whom do you represent?" Inara said in a tone that came off as haughty, she needed to keep control of the situation and thinking about Mal certainly wasn't the way to do that.

"You are right to ask about our credentials Miss Serra." Mr. Short said with a small smile. "We are representatives of the Alliance government, in need of your assistance."

"I am happy to help." Inara said hoping that her voice didn't betray her feelings towards these men. Why did they want to know about Mal? Was he in more trouble than normal? Was it about River?

"That is most excellent, miss. Things will go much easier with your cooperation." Mr. Tall took this opportunity to reach for his own brief case, as Mr. Short removed a piece of paper from his own.

On the paper was a capture of Mal and Inara laughing while walking through the market place of what looked like Beaumonde. "We have reason to believe that you and the captain had a little more than a business relationship."

"I assure you that you are mistaken sir. Malcolm Reynolds is nothing more than a petty thief and I am ashamed that you would think a Companion of my stature would be involved with the likes of him." Inara said allowing the anger that she felt towards the questions and the intrusion on her space show. Inara pulled herself into an even straighter posture.

Mr. Tall removed something that Inara couldn't quite make out from his brief case before standing. "By your actions you have completely confirmed any doubts that we might have, my dear."

Inara moved to stand feeling even more uncomfortable. With quickness and a grace uncommon for such a large man, Mr. Tall pushed the syringe that had been hidden in his hand into Inara's neck. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out, before she slumped to the floor unconscious, her teacup shattering beside her.

"Move her to the bed." Mr. Tall who was clearly in charge told Mr. Short. Before taking out the communication device in his suit pocket. "Send in the technicians, there is not much time."

Within moments Inara's room had been transformed from a space of tranquility to a madman's hospital. Blue uniformed techs worked furiously to attach the artfully designed recording device to her forehead. Disguised as a red ruby jewel it fit with the Companion's line of work perfectly.

Mr. Short wiped away the small amount of blood that had gathered near the wound with a blue tipped finger. "I will speak to the house mistress, and see how the training of our new troops is proceeding."

"Very good. I will finish up here."

"It is almost a pity to sully such a beauty." Mr. Short said from his paused position at the doorway.

"Yes, that it is." Mr. Tall replied before nodding at the workers that they may continue. He busied himself with the various items of his brief case as someone behind him brought his fist down in contact with Inara's face.

Five minutes latter he sent the technicians on their way and returned to the bedside with another syringe, this one loaded with blue liquid. It took sometime to find a spot on her arm that was not beginning to show bruises, before he injected the blue liquid in her veins.

"What is your name?" He asked by way of a test.

"Inara." Inara's voice was weak, the man before her did not know if it was from the drugs or the beating that she had just received. "Inara Serra."

"Good, very good, Inara. Now listen very carefully. You are to return to Serenity, the transport owned and operated by Malcolm Reynolds. From there you will transmit using the device in your forehead a record of all his activities. We know all about the Rebel's plans for starting a war, and he will of course be involved. You will use any methods necessary to carry out your mission."

Inara was beginning to wake up, and could feel a terrible pain throughout her body, pain that seemed to start at her forehead and stretch all the way down to her toes. She became more aware of what the man was saying. "No, I will never help you destroy him." She said in a voice that was stronger than before.

The blue-gloved man seemed to have expected this and with a push of a button the most horrible pictures appeared in her mind. The training house on fire, the girls trying in vain to run away from the men who chased them with guns. Emma fell blood spilling out of her chest; Maria turned trying to help her up only to be shot as well. Then there was Kaylee holding onto Simon's bleeding form, her face distorted in pain. Zoë who lay bleeding in a sandy desert, looking over her shoulder to the form of Mal. Mal who had been shot multiple times in the chest, but who was still trying to reach Zoë's side.

"Stop! Make it stop please!" Inara's screams pierced the room; tears fell without pause down her bruised and battered cheeks.

Mr. Tall pressed the button once more, stopping the images running through Inara's head. "If you don't want these things to happen then I suggest that you listen to what I have to say, Miss Serra."

"Yes." Inara said barely above a whisper. She tried her best to ignore the voice inside her head telling her that this wasn't right.

"As I said before you will return to Serenity. Become one with the crew once more. You are to start a romantic relationship with Captain Reynolds, use your Companion training if you must, but I don't think that it will be necessary. Such a relationship will allow you access to everything that goes on aboard that transport. And let me make one thing abundantly clear, Miss Serra, I am in full control of you."

At the agents last words the image of a dying and bleeding Mal returned to her mind. Inara's tears flowed even harder. "I understand."

"Good, then wave the good captain and tell him that you have had a little trouble with the locals. I am sure that he will come to collect you, seeing as he is less than an hour out." Inara didn't ask herself how this man knew such details; she just pulled herself off the bed and headed to her cortex screen.

_Serenity_

"Mal, you better get up here." Wash's voice came over the ship's intercom. In less than a minute Mal had joined him on the bridge.

"What is it, Wash?" Mal asked none too pleased as being called out of his training session with the doctor. The boy was finally showin' some progress when it came to fighting.

"It's a wave from Inara." Wash said getting out of the pilot's seat to let Mal sit down. Wash was making a hasty exit, having seen Inara he didn't want to be in the same room with the captain. He did though think that he deserved to have someone warn him about her condition. "And Mal, she don't look good."

If it was possible the lines in the captain's face got deeper as he turned on the view screen, not noticing that Wash had shut the door to the cockpit behind him. As soon as he saw her face, he jumped out of the chair ready to murder whoever it was who had done this to her. He took in the bruises and black eye on her face, and the tear streaks that had not yet dried, the split in her bottom lip.

"Wuo de ma, Inara who did this to you?" He asked in a fierce whisper. "Was it a client, Inara I'll get that hwoon dahn."

"Mal, it's the locals. It seems that they haven't taken kindly to the Guild pushing out form the central planets." She paused to let Mal process the information, but also to let herself think up more of a story.

"I ignored the warnings and went into town without an escort." The image of Kaylee holding a dying Simon came back and her tears started afresh. "I need you Mal, I can't stay here any longer." Her voice was breaking now; she could see the blue-handed man with his finger on the button, smile with approval. Inara knew that she would do anything to stop those images from coming back, even if it meant betraying Mal. At least betrayed he was still alive.

"I'm comin' 'Nara don't you fret. We're less then an hour out. Pack your things." With that he turned off the wave console, not being able to look at her bruised form. He quickly adjusted Serenity's course before reaching for the intercom and calling Zoë and Wash back up to the bridge.

They arrived in seconds signaling that they had both been waiting behind the cockpit door. "How is she, sir?" Zoë asked in a voice that betrayed how much she cared for the woman who had broken Mal's heart weather he wanted to admit it or not.

"Not good, she was attacked by some locals. It seems that what Will told us about people not likin' the Guild was true. I've changed course, Wash see that everything stays set. Zoë get the doctor and meet me in shuttle one. I don't want anyone knowin' of this till she is back on board, especially Kaylee. So let's keep this quiet."

"Yes, sir." Zoë said before heading to do his biding. She could not remember a time since the war that she had seen the man so shaken up.

_Shuttle One_

Mal worked quietly, prepping the shuttle for flight. In the past two months he had avoided this shuttle like the plague, not wanting to reenter into what had been her domain. He saw a trunk that had been left in the corner but had no time to see what it held now. He couldn't get the sight of her out of his mind. Couldn't believe that her precious Guild had allowed this to happen. Well once she was back under his protection nothing like this was going to happen ever again.

Zoë was back in no time with the doctor at her heels. "What is the meaning of this Captain?" He asked soundin' more than a little ticked.

"We're going to get Inara, and she has need of your attention, so you best get yourself settled back there with Zoë." Mal let his exasperation at the situation hit the doctor full, but it didn't make him feel any better.

"I take it you're flyin', sir."

"You take it correctly Zoë." He said speaking to his first mate as she entered the small cockpit, brushing past a leaving Simon.

Zoë moved to put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry sir." She said softly so that only Mal could hear.

"I know ya are, Zoë. I'm sorry too." As Zoë returned to the main part of the shuttle, Mal reached for the intercom. "Wash, we good to go?"

"Now is as good a time as any, Mal." That was all the encouragement Mal needed, with a lurch the shuttle was traveling towards the surface.


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: Thank you so much to all the people who reviewed! I love reviews :) That should be a hint to everyone else that you should review hehe! Enjoy : D

Training House

Inara stood silently in the courtyard of the Training House. The blue handed men waited in the shadows, she could just make out them lurking behind the elaborate pillars. At her feet were two suitcases and a large wooden trunk. It had always surprised her that all of her worldly possessions could fit in such small packages. That was of course not taking into account the trunk that was still nestled safely on Serenity, hidden for a time when she may have returned to the ship.

She was returning there was no doubt at that. Returning to betray Serenity and her crew, the people she loved and respected. Inara hated what she was about to do but it seemed to be the only way to keep control of the situation, control that she so desperately needed.

At the sound of the incoming shuttle she turned her gaze skyward, wincing at the pain that ran through her body at the movement. What's more the device in her forehead itched increasing her discomfort. The shuttle landed and Inara knew that it was _her_ shuttle, what would always be her home. Images flashed through Inara's mind, happy times back on Serenity, fights with Mal, visits with clients. All of which had taken place in that shuttle.

Tears once again started to poor down her cheeks, this time not at the biding of the blue handed man's strange device, but at the knowledge of the act that she was going to put on for whoever got out of that shuttle. Inara knew that it would be Mal who came to get her, and that only made the guilt even worse.

The shuttle hatch opened and out stepped Inara's savior and right now her worse nightmare. In two quick steps Mal was standing in front of her, looking like he wanted to fold her in his arms but uncertain if he should.

"Inara." He whispered, taking in the fact that her body looked even more battered up close.

Inara saved him the trouble of making the first move and threw herself into his arms. Letting out a gasp as her ribs made contact with his stomach. They may have been broken for all she knew. Her arms slid around his middle as she rested her head against his chest. Her tears soaking through the cloth of his blue shirt.

"Mal." Her voice was coming out in raggedy gasps not all of which was an act. "I'm so sorry Mal." And she was, he just didn't know for what yet, and hopefully he never would.

His arms stroked her back gently, being careful not to hurt her anymore then she was already hurting. When he spoke the words were like a gentle wind in the hair by her ear. "There's nothing to be sorry 'bout. I won't hear talk like that. You were right to wave me." He pushed her away just enough so that he could wipe away the tears remaining on her bruised face. The tenderness with which his callused hands touched her face only made her cry harder.

Mal had always been a sucker for a cryin' woman, and the fact that the cryin' woman was Inara only made things worse. His voice caught in his throat, lowering his head he placed a chaste kiss to her forehead just above the ruby jewel nestled there. "Shh, let's get on the ship so that the doc can get a look at you."

Mal turned her in his grasp and let his hands drop to her waist, reluctant to let go of her. After helping Inara board the shuttle, the wobbling of her legs made her walking a little unsteady, Mal turned to see Zoë standing behind the suitcases.

"Why won't you tell her, sir?"

"Tell her what?" Mal asked trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. "You just get those bags, I want to be off this rock." Mal continued as he bent to pick up the trunk.

"If you have to ask that question then you're blinder than I thought sir." Zoë mumbled as she traveled past, him and got into the shuttle.

Mal scanned the courtyard, before getting loading the trunk, wondering why there was no one else around.

Shuttle One 

"How's she farin' doc?" Mal said with a grunt stowing the trunk in a corner. Noticing that Inara seemed to be pretty out of it, sitting against the wall near the doctor.

"She's suffered many injuries, I've given her heavy pain killers to deal with the pain till we get back to Serenity." Simon reached for his med kit again, taking out some wipes to clean the dried blood off her face and arms. "I would also say that she has at least two broken ribs. But all will heal in time."

Mal just nodded his head before moving closer to Inara, helping the doctor by cleaning her split lip. At his touch Inara seemed to wake up a bit. "Mal."

"Yeah, Inara it's me."

Simon seemed to take this as his cue and headed to the cockpit. Zoë was just pulling back on the control stick, sending shuttle one away from the ground.

"So it looks like you're flying." Simon said silently hoping that he didn't sound as uncomfortable as he felt right now.

"That it does." Zoë flipped a few switches preparing them to break atmo. "Doc?" Her voice was nothing more then a whisper.

"Yes?"

"I want you to drug him, drug him so that he sleeps for a while, dreamless sleep." Zoë knew that with what she had seen today the Captain wasn't goin' to be gettin' much sleep for a while. With their new job spyin' for the Independents he was going to need to be at his best. "Same with Inara."

Back in his days as a trauma surgeon Simon would have been outraged at such a request, but now things were different. His life was different along with his values. He reentered the main body of the shuttle and silently went to his medical bag, taking out two syringes.

Inara was trying to talk to Mal but was having difficulties forming words. When they finally did come out they were slurred and whispered. "Hold me Mal."

Malcolm Reynolds had never heard anyone speak to him with the desperation that Inara was speaking to him now. A voice, so unlike her own, so without control. He couldn't help but pull her gently onto his lap, smoothing a weathered hand over her tangled hair. "Go to sleep, 'Nara." Mal leaned back against the bulkhead, gently holding her battered body against his chest.

Simon moved towards the two still forms. "What's that you got there doc?" Mal asked in a voice that sounded tired.

"Just something to help her sleep." Simon replied watching with satisfaction as the Captain shut his eyes with a sigh. Taking advantage of the situation he plunged the syringe into his arm.

"Wha?" Was all Mal was able to utter before he completely succumbed to the drug. Simon then moved to Inara, noticing with satisfaction that her breathing evened out.


	6. Chapter 6

"How long till we set down on Lilac?" Zoë asked her husband sleepily as she entered the cockpit.

"Three hours give or take." Wash answered before turning in the pilot's seat and kissing the worried lines of her forehead. "Mal still not up yet? I know that the doc gave him some pretty good stuff, but three days, isn't that a little extreme?"

"I already talked to Simon, he said that the Captain will be up within the hour."

"Then what's bothering you? I can tell that somethin' not too pleasant is on your mind." Wash said with a teasing grin trying to get Zoë to smile. His grin soon faded when her face didn't change form. "Come on baby, don't make me beg."

"Did I ever tell you that you can be a very annoying husband?" Zoë said with the corners of her mouth raised slightly.

"Not today, but then again the day is still pretty new." Wash's grin was back and Zoë finally gave a full smile. "So you going to tell me now?"

"Tell you what?" Zoë said plopping down on his lap, needing to feel his arms wrapped around her. "Tell you that you're annoying, 'cause I thought I just did." At that Wash made a half-hearted attempt to push her off his lap.

Thinking of a better idea, Wash leaned in to kiss her. "Tell me what's the matter." He whispered against her lips before pulling back suddenly, earning himself a good smack in the shoulder from Zoë.

"I'm just worried about Inara is all. I don't like how the Guild wasn't there when we landed. I don't like how she seems all weak and vulnerable."

"But she is weak and vulnerable." Wash cut in silencing his wife's out of character rant.

"You were the one who asked remember? Now do you want me to continue?" He nodded silently, knowing better then to speak when she gave him the look.

"She has never been vulnerable ever, and even if she was, she is much to prideful to let Mal see that she is. She loves him, loved him enough to leave the ship so that she wouldn't have to deal with it. And he loves her just as much but is afraid to show that he does. Woe de ma, I'm starting to sound like Kaylee playin' matchmaker." Zoë let out a long sigh; she had never been overly open with her emotions, so why was she being this way now? She knew why, because the situation just screamed wrong to her.

"Matchmaker Zoë. Got a nice ring to it don't you think? Just make sure you don't let either of them here you say, they love each other. I may not be able to protect you should they attack." Wash was trying rather unsuccessfully to get his mind to stop thinking depressing thoughts and focus more on the woman in his lap.

"It just doesn't sit well with me is all, we've never heard of any trouble with the locals back at that Training House, but yet Inara is beaten savagely by them. Somethin' ain't right. It hurts me is all."

Wash pulled Zoë up farther onto his lap enfolding her in his arms. "You're not the only one hurtin' baby. Poor Kaylee's hurtin' and we didn't even let her go near Inara to see how bad she was. Mal's in a state, even drugged the man didn't want to give up his hold on her. I should know, seein' as I was the one placed in charge of helping Jayne get him down into his bunk." Wash too let out a sigh before putting on a big smile.

"Enough with the depressing, wife of mine. Let's go get some coffee."

Mal let out a small groan as his eyes opened slowly. His eyelids and limbs felt heavy, as he looked around to see where he was. The answer came quick enough, he was in his bunk. _How the gway did I get down here?_ He asked himself, before recognizing the feelings his body was going though. _He had been drugged, the gorram doc had drugged him. Where was Inara? Was she safe? How long had he been out?_

The unanswered questions ran through Mal's mind as he struggled to pull on some clean clothes, before climbing up the ladder and into the freedom of his ship. Concern and murderous thoughts mixed into one as he heard soft taking coming from the galley. He walked in to see Zoë and Wash drinking coffee, while Book and Kaylee, seemed to be finishing up their breakfast. The murderous thoughts left when he saw that the doctor wasn't sitting around the table.

Kaylee wasn't lookin' the normal picture of uncontained happiness, leadin' Mal to believe that she knew about Inara. The fact that she was here sitting at the table and not cryin' her eyes out in her bunk, meant she probably hadn't seen what the Companion looked like.

Mal moved over to the stove getting himself a cup of coffee, noticing that all conversation had stopped the moment he entered the room. Well that was all well and good he didn't really want talkin' just wanted the answers to a few simple questions. Sitting down at the head of the table Mal looked to Zoë knowing that she was the one who would not be afraid to tell him what he wanted to know.

"Kaylee, I want you to take the Shepard down to the engine room, see if you can't teach him somethin' useful." Book nodded solemnly before steering Kaylee out of the room. Kaylee was either to tired or too depressed to care that she was being left out of the conversation.

"How is she?" Mal asked Zoë softly, once the pair was out of earshot. There was no need to explain who 'she' was.

"Still sleeping, sir. Doc was able to set her ribs just fine, and the bruises are starting to fade." Her voice was as soft as his had been.

"If they are startin' to fade already then that means I was out a bit longer than I had wagered. You wanta clear up that information for me?" Mal knew that he wasn't going to like her answer.

"Three days, sir. The doc said that you needed to rest, so he had you drugged." At her lie Wash looked up from the cup of coffee that he had been previously studying. Mal didn't seem to notice Wash's renewed interest in the conversation. Instead he stared down at his own cup before taking a long swig.

Mal knew that Zoë was lookin' his way, even though his eyes never left the table. He knew that she was wondering if he was all right, if he could do the job, if he could continue his work at gatherin' intelligence for the Independents. Mal took a deep breath before returning his gaze to his first mate.

"Three days huh?"

"Yes, sir. Three days."

"How long till we hit Lilac, Wash?" Mal couldn't help but grin to see Zoë's look of surprise, that one question was all it took to reassure her that he was in the here and now.

"Little under two hours Mal." Wash said with a smile of his own, before turning and heading back to the bridge.

"We moved her into one of he passenger rooms, sir. Go and see her, I'll make sure that everyone is ready for the job."

"Good, River's to stay on the ship of course, but keep the doc on board too. Lilac, could have a few Alliance men, and we don't want the good doctor spotted."

Zoë could tell by the way that Mal referred to Simon as the 'good doctor' that he was not too pleased about being drugged. Zoë would be forever grateful that her husband didn't spill the beans on who ordered the druggin'. She had faced the Captain's wrath before and didn't want to face it again.

"Zoë, you still with me here?"

"Yes, sir." All praise be to the female ability to multitask. "You want me to make sure that Kaylee has the little pistol you bought for her on Persephone, hidden of course, and that Jayne brings along Vera."

"Just checkin' you seemed to be staring off into space there for a while." Mal flashed her a fake grin. That was enough for Zoë to put an end to the charade.

"I've got your order's, now why don't you go and check on Inara before you burn a hole in that coffee cup from staring at it so hard." This comment was rewarded with a real smile.

"Maybe I will." Mal said draining the last of his coffee, and heading out of the galley and down the passageway to the passenger dorms.

"It's getting easier to make him do what I want him too, this should make me happy right?" Zoë mumbled to herself before going to make sure that everyone was prepared.


	7. Chapter 7

The yellow sliding door slid open easily allowing Mal admittance to the room that had once been the home of Dobson the Alliance mole, a year or so back. Now it held the healing form of Inara Serra, who was bathed in the pale light coming from the still open door.

Mal did want to wake her, so he didn't risk turning on an overhead light. He trusted that his eyes would soon adjust, but he was unsure if he really wanted them to. 'Cause seein' her back at the Training House had been bad enough. He was almost ready to believe that he was only here at the assistance of his first mate, but deep down he knew different. Mal let out a soft sigh as he moved towards the small bunk in which she lay.

He had always felt protective towards women, not because he saw women as weak; his own ma had certainly proved time and time again that women were far from weak. He felt protective towards women 'cause he couldn't stand to see them hurtin'. Didn't matter if his protectiveness brought a whole heap of trouble, or a good argument, or sisterly affection, or even a real good steely glare. He just didn't have the power to stop himself from being who he was, as much as he may try.

With these thoughts in mind Mal reached over and carefully placed a strand of Inara's thick hair behind her ear. Noticing as he did that the bruises on her face really were starting to fade, as Zoë had said earlier.

"I'm goin' on a job bao bei." He whispered softly, as his hand cupped her cheek. He had to admit that he was glad she was asleep so as to not hear the term of endearment. "Would do me a world 'a good to have you up and about when I get back."

Mal kneeled down beside the bed and took one of her small delicate hands in both of his rough ones. He couldn't help but believe that this would have never happened had he been able to keep her on Serenity instead of dropping her off at that Training House. A whole lot of good that little move had brought everyone. Inara had been beaten by savages then practically abandoned by her Guild. Kaylee had taken her departure hard takin' a while to become like her old self again. The rest of the crew had to deal with him, and as Mal looked back on the whole affair he had been none to pleasant.

He had never known how much the Companion had meant to him, till she was no longer there. No longer there to twist him about, or to make him angry over the stupidest things, nor to prevail to his conscience, it was like a small part of him had left when she did. He didn't know if it was a good part or not but it was still a part. A part he hoped would soon be getting back.

Mal didn't know how long he had knelt there studying her, looking so peaceful in her sleep. He knelt there long past the time when his knees went numb, stroking his thumb over her knuckles. Taking comfort in the soft sound of her breathing, and the feel of her pulse against his fingertips. He was so involved in his thoughts that he didn't hear his first mate come to stand just outside the door way.

Zoë knew that she was many things, but one of those things definitely wasn't stupid. Knowing this she stood off to the side of the door, not wanting to block the light flowing into the room just yet. She watched silently as her best friend and Captain knelt, head bowed as if in prayer, holding Inara's hand in his own. Zoë also knew that even though Mal certainly wasn't praying to any God he was praying just the same. Praying to the altar that was Inara, placing his faith in her. She just hoped that Mal wouldn't lose that belief as he had lost so many others.

Zoë stepped into the light, startling Mal out of his trance. "Hittin' atmo in less than ten minutes, sir." Her voice was hushed not wanting to wake Inara any more than Mal. "Everyone's assembled in the cargo bay." He only nodded in response.

Mal turned from Zoë's silhouetted form, back to Inara before releasing her hand and rising shakily to his feet, wincing as his legs protested the action. Almost with out thinking about it he placed a kiss to her forehead.

Zoë watched on silently, knowing that was the second time she had seen Mal kiss Inara's forehead in four hours he had been awake to do so. He may kiss Kaylee in the same way occasionally but never with the same tenderness he used with Inara. _Ai ya, he's got it bad_. Then the moment was over and he was striding over to the doorway shooing her out of the way so that he could slide the door closed.

"You might be needin' this, sir." Zoë said with something akin to a smile, tossing him his gun holster, which he caught one handed.

"Always seem to, no matter what plans I may have up my sleeve." He said with a grin, but his eyes weren't grinning, they were far from grinning. He silently strapped the holster around his hips, feeling the weight of the gun pressed securely to his thigh.

A blue-gloved hand reached out to adjust a dial on a screen thousand of kilometers away from Serenity. Turning over his shoulder he looked to his partner. "Even asleep she is of use."

"She is Malcolm Reynolds's greatest weakness. Inara Serra will crush the Rebels before a shot is fired."

"So y'all clear on what's to transpire?" Mal asked his crew gathered around him smiling when he saw nothing but nods of agreement. "Be back before nightfall dong ma? I don't particularly fancy coming to get ya."

At the press of a button sunlight streamed in through the slowly opening cargo doors, welcoming the crew of Serenity to the dust heap that was Lilac. Mal stepped out flanked on either side by Jayne and Zoë, with Book trailing behind. Wash drove the charred mule down the ramp with Kaylee sitting on the back, trying to keep her sundress from blowing around too much.

To the untrained observer it may have just been a rag tag transport crew headed into town for some much needed supplies but it was much more then that. The unsuspecting townsfolk of Lilac had a new breed of transport crew to contend with, the breed which acted as spies for the Independent high command.

Shepherd Book broke off from the group heading for the local church, the mule and her occupants headed to the general store, as the others continued towards the only bar in sight. There was work to be done.

Book let out a soft sigh as he stepped into the welcome peace that could only be brought on by a true place of worship. The peace that seemed to seep out of the walls to fill a person up with its goodness. A peace that Book planed on enjoying for a while before he got down to the work that the Captain had given him.

It wasn't that Book didn't believe in the Independent's cause, because he did. No one who had seen what he had could not believe. He had kept his past secret from the crew of Serenity not seeing the need to sully them with his burden, when they already were the bearers of so many. And this philosophy was not going to change anytime soon, if he could help it.

Book had been aware the second that the preacher had entered the room, but he did not look up from his prayer. A prayer that asked the Almighty one to watch over his friends. A prayer that begged for Inara to heal quickly from all her wounds not just the ones that marred her perfect skin. But above all it was a prayer for forgiveness for what he was about to do.

"I hope I am not disturbing you my friend." Book said rising from his kneeling position.

"Not at all, it is a pleasure to see another man of the cloth." The other man said coming to stand beside Book. "What brings you to such an out of the way moon as Lilac?"

"Just stopping through. Looking for peace, been on the run for a while." Book kept his voice even but allowed a bit of weariness slip into it. It was time to go to work. Book was testing the waters, without being too forward.

"I understand. Peace can be hard to find especially now a days." The local man seemed to understand the exactly what Book was up to. "Why don't you join me for a cup of tea in my study and we can discuss things further." He continued leading Book into a room off to the side of the church, shutting the door behind him.

"Please sit." The minister continued, himself taking a seat behind a wobbly looking desk. A simple nameplate declared that Rev. Michael Fin was the Pastor of this simple church.

"Thank you for the kind offer." Book said sitting down himself. Letting the silence lay, as Rev. Fin used a small hot plate to heat water for tea. There was no need to rush things. No need at all.

"Let us dispense with the pleasantries. What else brings you here?" Fin said pouring tea into two cups. "I want no trouble, I have done nothing to anger the Alliance."

Book took a sip of his tea thinking over how he wanted to continue this conversation. Deciding that he might as well take a little risk. "I have come to ask if you would be willing to do just that."

"Willing to do what?" Fin asked taking a sip of his own tea, his eyes widening slightly.

"Willing to anger the Alliance." Book sat his teacup down on the desk, wanting to have his hands free. "I did not lie when I said I was here to find peace. I am. But I am also here to see if you being a figurehead of this community would be willing to act as a contact for a local Independence cell."

To say that the other man was shocked by Book's admission would be an understatement. "I knew that people were not too content about the Alliance's recent actions but I was unaware that things had progressed so far." Book only nodded letting silence fill the room once more. Watching as the man across from him bowed his head in prayer.

After what seemed an eternity the man known as Michael Fin raised his head. "I will do what I must. I have no love for the Alliance and neither do the people of this moon."

Book nodded again reaching over to fill his cup with more tea. "We have much to discuss."

Wash parked the mule in front of the building that served as both general store, bank and security outpost. Not Alliance security not really, instead the were the Alliance hired local boys, but they were still posed a danger. Wash silently counted the security men, keeping a tally in his head. This was his part of the mission, well that and getting the supplies, and he didn't plan on failing at either part.

Kaylee jumped off the back of the mule with a big smile that was in no way an act. She was here to help with the supply getting but her smiling manner and pretty sundress were also going to be used to put people at ease and get some much-needed information. No one would ever suspect Kaylee of anything devious, nor would they suspect that she had a pistol hidden in a holster underneath her skirt. That was why she was perfect.

Stepping into the store both she and Wash looked around in wonder. It wasn't a wonder born of the fact that this store had anything special, it was more like a wonder that it looked exactly like all the other general stores in the 'verse, right down to the wood carved swans in the corner.

"I'm going to go look at the food." Kaylee said once she spotted the pears sparkling from the sunlight streaming through the windows.

"Sure thing, just remember to get everything on the list." Wash said doing his best to be cryptic, before he headed to look over fuel cells, silently adding another person to the tally going on in his head.

Kaylee was thoroughly enjoying a little time off Serenity. She loved the ship dearly but there was somethin' to be said about having real sunshine, and real fruit. She loaded nine pears into the whicker basket she carried, thankful that the small paycheck from the Browncoats allowed them the indulgence. Heading over to the protein packs she smiled at the woman looking them over.

"Hey, beautiful day ain't it?"

The woman looked up and she didn't look too pleased. "That may be the case but I don't see why you're so happy." She grumbled.

"Why not be happy?" Kaylee asked adding some of the protein packs to her basket.

"Look at the price of this go se. Alliance don't got no right to raise the prices again." The other woman continued angrily. Kaylee's smile disappeared, seeing that the price was in fact much higher than the last time they had picked up supplies.

"I see you're point. I don't think that they got any right to be messin' with people's lives like they do." Kaylee hoped that the other woman would take her bait, saving her from having to think up another way of getting the information she wanted.

"That's right, glad to see that outsiders are startin' to agree with us. People round here been tryin' to get rid of the no good meddlers ever since the war." Now it was time for Kaylee to be bold.

"Many round these parts support the Alliance?" She asked as innocently as she could, adding a small smile.

"Nah, only the rich landlords, and the families of them that works in security but not even them sometimes." Kaylee's smile deepened. She looked around the store to ensure that no one had overheard the conversation, seeing that Wash was already at the counter paying for the fuel cells.

She picked up a few more protein packs before nodding to the woman. "It's been nice talkin' to ya but I gotta head out. Bye!" If the woman thought much of Kaylee's sudden departure she said nothing. Only returned to grumbling about the rising prices of things that were necessary for living.

Kaylee met up with Wash at the counter, looking over the things that he had picked up making sure that they were what Serenity needed. "Get everything?" Wash asked as she placed her own items next to his.

"Yup, even got us something special." She continued unloading the pears.

"Are those real pears?" Wash asked with what could only be called excitement.

"Yup, one for each of us." Kaylee smiled as she handed the clerk the money to cover the goods, sighing a bit as she noticed how little money was left over. The clerk placed the fuel cells in a box, and Kaylee returned the food to her basket. "We best get back to the ship 'fore the Captain does."

Mal surveyed the bar quickly. Noticing that it was the perfect place for a meeting you wanted no one to notice. It was dark, dirty and had the capacity to drown out all conversation that wasn't going on at your particular table. He also noticed a man matching the description of their contact lounging at a table in the back of the room.

"Look's like he's our guy." Mal said softly. "Jayne, I want you to stay put by the door. Zoë you're with me." At his words he and Zoë walked further into the darkness.

Mal took a seat at the table stopping a barmaid to order a glass of whisky. Zoë took up a watch stand at his back, keeping a careful eye on the other bar patrons.

"You be Malcolm Reynolds?" The scruffy man across the table from Mal asked.

"That all depends on who's askin'." Mal looked warily at the man across from him, not liking the fact that the man's hands were not on the table. He didn't like not being able to see what the other man's hands were doing, but two could pay at that game. Mal fingered the gun in his holster.

"Name's Bob. Bob Mitchell. I'm lookin' to do some business. If you be Malcolm Reynolds that is?"

"I'm him. What can I do for you?" Mal asked Bob, taking his glass of whisky from the barmaid, but keeping his eyes on the man sitting across from him.

"Good, good. Didn't want to end up killin' the wrong man." Bob, if that was his real name, said as a shot rang out through the bar. Mal started to draw his pistol only to stop when pain flared in his stomach. _Gut shot, why am I always gut shot?_ He silently asked himself as he heard the shot from Zoë's sawed off shotgun.

Mal noticed with some satisfaction that the man was dead instantly a big bloody hole in his chest. "I think that we best be going." Mal said to Zoë as he let her help him out of the chair, his hand trying rather uselessly to stop the bleeding from the belly wound.

"Life's never dull with you is it, sir." Zoë said motioning for Jayne to support Mal's other side as they half carried him out of the bar, past the many shocked customers.

Mal closed his eyes once they reached the outside, weather it was from the sun hitting his eyes or the wave of pain that washed over his body he didn't know. Didn't particularly care either.

Zoë noticed that Wash and Kaylee were just leaving the general store up the road. "Wash, bring the mule." She yelled her voice leaving no room for question.

"Coming honey." Was his only reply. He didn't want to know why Zoë and Jayne seemed to be supporting Mal. He hadn't heard any gunshots but then again the store was far enough from the bar that they wouldn't have heard them anyway. "Hop on Kaylee. Looks like we're needed."

"Somethin' happen?" Kaylee's earlier smile was gone to be replaced with a worried frown. The mule took no time at all to reach the front of the bar. "Cap'n you ok?" Kaylee asked worriedly.

"Right as rain, lil' Kaylee." Mal answered planting a fake smile on his face and trying his best to keep the pain out of his voice. Wash shared a glance with Zoë her eyes telling him everything that he needed to know. It was bad.

"Best pick up the preacher and get off this gorram moon." Jayne said speaking for the first time, as he helped Mal lay down on the back of the mule.

"Hope I'm not going to be needin' a preacher, Jayne." Mal said not even bothering to try and keep the pain out of his voice this time. He blinked his eyes as the mule started into motion trying to stop the dizziness that was taking over. Zoë who was trying to stop the blood that was flowing over her hands and the cloth that she held pressed to the Captain's stomach, felt him still. She looked up into his face just in time to see Mal's eyes roll back into his head.


	8. Chapter 8

Inara blinked her eyes slowly while trying to adjust to the gloomy surroundings of what could only be a passenger dorm on Serenity. She hadn't known what exactly she had expected to find when she finally woke up but what she didn't expect was to be where she was. In the back of her mind she knew that she had hoped to see Mal, or at least Kaylee, but no one was around not even the doctor.

She eased up on to her elbows pushing back the blankets covering her as she did so. Glancing down she saw that she was clothed in a plain cotton nightgown, one that was probably Kaylee's. Inara let out a long sigh as she crawled out of bed, the gravity of the situation and the reason why she was back on Serenity forming fully in her mind. Almost unconsciously she moved her hands up over her arms, the bruises that had marred her skin were far less tender than before.

Her hands somehow found their way up to the jewel that now adorned her forehead. A jewel that had been placed there by the blue-handed men, the men who had seen fit to ruin her life. A device that she was sure was even now transmitting what was happening on Serenity. A system that had probably by now alerted the aforementioned men to the fact that Simon and River Tam were on board the transport. As much as she hated to admit it, there was nothing to be done for that now. Inara put all thoughts of doubt out of her head as she exited the cabin to go and find the rest of the crew.

Inara checked the rooms next to hers finding that neither Simon and River, nor Shepherd Book were in their rooms. This was not all that uncommon; the sight that met her as she walked into the common room outside the infirmary was slightly less common. Kaylee and River sat motionless on the couch, Kaylee looking extremely worried, as she stared into the infirmary. Wash and Book stood off to the side, looking grave themselves. Jayne sat in the big armchair staring blankly off into space.

Inara's mind quickly calculated who wasn't in the room, the doctor, Mal and Zoë. _Please don't let it be Mal. _She thought, hating herself for wanting Zoë to be hurt. "Mal?" She asked almost to herself as she ran into the common area, startling the rest of the crew out of their stupor.

"'Nara?" Kaylee asked looking up in surprise at the companion who was now rushing into the infirmary, her bare feet slapping on the deck plating.

Simon was bent over Mal's stomach with Zoë acting as nurse. Simon didn't even look up as Inara entered the room. Zoë on the other hand did look up her face betraying how bad the situation really was. Her face fell even more as Inara stepped farther into the room.

Inara quickly tired to regain her control, to pull the threads of her emotions back into place. Now was not the time to act like a weakling, now was not the time to act like something she wasn't in order to please the blue-handed men, now was the time to be the old Inara. The Inara who was steady and strong, who always managed to keep her emotions hidden behind either a mask or steady anger.

"What happened?" She asked Zoë softly not wanting to disturb Simon. Woe de ma, there was so much blood. There was blood covering both Zoë and the doctor, along with Mal's uncovered chest.

"He got shot up by a contact. Bullet tore up his insides pretty bad." Her voice betrayed no emotion as she helped the doctor.

Inara walked slowly behind her to stand at the head of the bed. Her hand reaching out to smooth Mal's hair out of his eyes, before finding a place beside his head. She was comforted by the steady beat of Mal' pulse, beneath her hand. "Will he be alright?"

This time it was the doctor who answered her. "I don't know." The sound of a bullet fragment hitting a metal try echoed through the room. Inara didn't look up, as she felt a chill steep through her. A chill she tried to blame on the fact that she was dressed only in a cotton nightgown.

Zoë looked up towards the Companion who was absentmindedly stroking the captain's hair. _Why is it that with these two only show feelings when one of them is beat up, shot up, or in some other form mortal danger?_ She let out a soft sigh as she turned back to her work, hoping, not for the first time today, that Mal would make it through this.

"That's the last of it." Simon said reaching for a cloth to mop up the blood around the wound so that he could start putting in stitches. "I won't know anything more until he wakes up."

Zoë silently moved over to the sink on the far side of the room and began to wash her hands. As the blood pooled down the drain, she stole another look at Inara who had not moved from her position at the head of the bed.

"Inara do you think that you should be up and about so soon? With what you've been through these past couple days?"

"I'm fine, thank you Zoë." Inara replied wrapping her arms around herself, and taking a deep breath. "I'm fine." Weather it was a reassurance to herself or to Zoë, Inara wasn't sure.

The doctor finished up his stitching before turning to Inara himself. "You really should be sitting down at least." Simon knew from the moment that she had set foot in his infirmary; it would be pointless to ask her to leave. Instead he mentioned for Zoë bring Inara a stool.

As Inara sat Zoë placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll go see if I can get you something else to wear."

Inara looked up at her giving a small smile. A true smile, one without a shred of acting involved. Truth be told Inara had completely forgotten what she was supposed to be doing, forgot she was supposed to find out what was going on with the crew of Serenity and what they were involved in. Not that any of that mattered right now, the man who lay unconscious before her was the only thing that mattered.

Inara resumed her previous ministrations, trying unsuccessfully to keep Mal's hair out of his closed eyes, tracing his laugh lines with her fingertips, feeling more than hearing the whisper of his breath. Simon also continued his work wrapping a tight bandage around the Captain's abdomen.

"He should be awake in a couple of hours. I'm going to go get some sleep. When he wakes try your best to keep him still." Simon hoped that his voice didn't betray what he was feeling.

Inara nodded solemnly. "I will."

The doctor matched her nod, knowing that it would be a blessing if the man called Malcolm Reynolds ever woke up again. Now he only had to find a way to tell the rest of the crew that. With one last look back at Inara, Simon pulled the infirmary doors shut.

"Is the Cap'n going to be alright?" Kaylee asked as Simon entered into the common room. Her voice was cracking under the burden of worry she carried.

"I don't know; it all depends of if he wakes up soon or not." Taking a deep breath he continued. "Whoever shot him knew what they were doing; the shot was very well placed on their part. He lost a lot of blood, even with the transfusion from Wash."

He sighed as he saw Wash reach for Zoë's hand, trying to provide as much comfort as he could with a simple touch. Watched as Zoë moved closer to her husband, betraying no emotion just balancing a bundle of clothes against her chest. Book had moved over to the couch to enfold Kaylee in his arms as she sobbed quietly on his shoulder. River who sat behind Kaylee was rubbing her back making soothing noises, much the same as the ones Simon himself used on her. Jayne slouched further into his chair but made no other sign that he had even heard Simon's words.

"There is nothing more to be done tonight." Simon said after a pause not knowing what else to do, not knowing what he could possibly say to ease the tension in the room. He walked over to his sister placing a slight kiss on her forehead before heading to bed.

Zoë took this as her cue to get things moving in a different direction. She stepped out of Wash's comfort, pulling herself up straighter as she went. "Wash I want you up on the bridge, send a coded wave to Will, we have a report to file."

Zoë turned her gaze to Jayne. "I want you to see that all the supplies we picked up today are squared away." For once Jayne didn't put up any argument as he went about his business.

"Shepherd, if you wouldn't mind making sure that Kaylee gets to her bunk." At Book's nod Zoë placed a warm hand on the young mechanic's shoulder. "Don't worry Kaylee, Cap'n been shot up plenty worse before, and he always managed to pull through. That was before we had that genius doctor on board too."

Kaylee looked up at the first mate, her face wet and hollow looking even with the slight smile she wore. "That's right, ain't it?" She asked.

"Yup, sure is." With that Kaylee allowed Shepherd Book to steer her away from the common room. Zoë was left facing River who was looking intently at the closed infirmary door. "River honey, you best be heading to bed too."

"A sleep without dreams. They're going to change; change so they can't be turned back." River looked once to Zoë, before following her advice. Zoë decided that it was probably best not to try and decipher what the other girl had been trying to tell her, 'cause she wasn't entirely sure she really wanted to know.

Pulling open the door to the infirmary Zoë again took stock of the situation. Inara had not moved; she didn't even look up when Zoë entered the room. Strands of curly black hair brushed over Mal's pillow, while graceful hands fingered the spot just above where the IV tube that entered into his arm.

"I brought you some other clothes in case you wanted something warmer to wear." Zoë knew though that the pile of silks she clutched were no warmer, then what the Companion currently had on. "Plus I imagine you're more comfortable in your own things."

"Thank you." Inara said looking at Zoë, reaching out with one hand to take the offered clothes. The other hand she kept rooted on Mal, as if just her touch would somehow heal him.

She silently dawned the gold silk robe that had been worn by River when she first came on board Serenity. The bright colour contrasting with the paleness of the nightgown, providing an almost surreal effect.

Zoë herself moved forward stepping to the side of the bed taking on of Mal's hands in hers, as the Companion moved back to her stool. Both women didn't speak for what could be an eternity.

"He's not going to be alright is he?" Inara asked softly breaking the silence with a whisper, pressing on, before the other woman could answer. "And don't you dare lie to me."

Zoë's face softened considerably at her words. She may have had her doubts about why the Companion was back on Serenity, but she had no doubts as to what she was feeling right now.

"If he regains consciousness within the next few hours he should make a full recovery. If he doesn't then he probably won't wake up at all." Zoë said looking straight into the other woman's eyes. Watching as the tears formed before falling silently. Saying the words somehow brought the full weight of the situation down on her shoulders.

Mal wasn't just her best friend; he was someone who understood her like no one else. Better even then Wash, better certainly then her long dead parents ever did. But even then, there was more. Mal stood for a cause, stood for the best that the Independents could ever be. He may not have been the typical hero but he was a hero nonetheless. He was the man who had helped her get her life back after Serenity Valley, and that was a debt that she could never repay.

She could though continue what he had started, and pray that he woke up. Zoë dropped his hand, pulling herself up once more. She had work to do. "I'm sorry, Inara." She said casting the words over her shoulder as she left.

Inara stared at her retreating back before leaving Mal's side to close the doors. Moving her stool over to the side of the bed she allowed the last threads of her control to break away. Her sobs filling the room, her tears staining her robe before splashing down on to the bed sheet, that covered Mal's unmoving form.


End file.
